Jen's Diary

31/05/22 - Something about funerals and the Queen

I’m going to a funeral today. It’s my aunt’s, who we lost to cancer a few weeks ago. It’s going to be a bit of a rough day.

I realise it’s not a particularly hot take to say that I don’t like funerals, but I don’t. They make me sad, and I’m already sad, so it can be distressing to be surrounded by other sad people, who are all being sad together, which makes you even more sad - because it’s sad when people are sad. 

I do think funerals are important. They’re a ritual, and they give us permission to grieve together and draw some sort of line under the trauma of the death. But, I also think that they aren’t for everybody. Personally, I’m not sure how much they do for my grief - but then again, maybe it’s not about me. It’s an opportunity for all the family and friends to meet up, without having the guilt of calling it a party. I think a funeral is a party though. Except, it’s a party where everyone has to pretend it isn’t a party, because that would be inappropriate. But it is a party. A sad party. And for me, most parties are sad parties anyway.