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I’m kind of worried about trans people - especially here in the UK. I’m not worried about them because I think they’re doing anything wrong, or because I disagree with some new pronoun…
I’m worried about them because we don’t really know what negative effects all of this “discourse” and “debate” and general, mainstream disrespect is going to do to them in the future. Every day it seems like the media reporting, political fear mongering, medical deconstructing and social alienation is getting more intense.
Trans people have always been the butt of the joke, so to a certain extent they have gotten used to it. As a result, their skin has thickened and their tolerance levels have heightened and their outlook has recalibrated as their expectations have lowered. But, everyone has their limit.
I guess what I mean when I say “I’m kind of worried about trans people” is that I’m worried about myself. I am a trans person, and I know how I feel. I came out publicly over a decade ago, and one thing I’ve always maintained - more so out of stubborn principle than anything else, is a dedication to be public. Living in stealth was never an option for me, and even if it had been, I don’t think it would have been helpful to me psychically. As trans people, and citizens, we should be a part of the society we live in. We should be seen, and we should have our rights to self realisation respected, just like everyone else.
But right now, I don’t much feel like being a “public” person. I’m not talking about “fame” or “success” or anything like that here - I’m talking more simply, about just being a member of society. If, every single day, you see negative perspectives on your existence by leading media outlets, politicians, medical institutions and the public - it unsurprisingly does have an effect. And for me, that effect is that it makes me not want to interact with society sometimes.
Of course, I know that the true day to day lived experience isn’t always reflective of what the media projects. I can go into a coffee shop and be treated with respect by the staff there. But more and more often now, I find myself falling into the lie. I’m scared there is permanent damage being done to the collective trans consciousness that won’t fully be understood for decades to come - and I’m worried about how it’s going to manifest. For myself, as much as anyone else.
All trans people have ever really wanted is a part in society, and for a while there - it felt as if maybe we were starting to get it. Then, a few years back, it seemed to be rescinded. Now, it feels like there is a wearing down happening. A slow, methodical chipping away from a character that smirks at us for even thinking we could belong.
Which, in my personal experience, has always resulted in separatism. You don’t want to play with me at lunch time break? Ok, I’ll go and hang out on my own in the library. But then what?
That’s what I’m worried about.