Hello, itās Jen - from āThe Fringeā.Ā
Firstly, Iād like to apologise. Not just because I personally love apologising, but also because I insinuated at the beginning of this month that Iād keep you all up to date with my experiences at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I did like, 3 entries - and then I stopped. There are a few different reasons for this, but Iād say the primary one was that I have just been too distracted and tired to do it. It wasnāt until I got a message on my Patreon asking me to give another update, that I realised people might have actually enjoyed it. Even at this point, I just assume people arenāt invested in my writing. But, I am wrong. So, hereās one - right now.Ā
Two weeks into me being here, Iāve performed my hour āPEAK TRANSā 12 nights in a row, and itās been educational so far. For the most part, Iāve been enjoying myself - feeling the show continue to tighten, and come together is rewarding - and on the nights when it goes right, and the connection with the audience is there, I feel on top of the world. Thereās something magical when most of an audience āgets itā and you can relax into the absurdity of certain bits. Of course, though - there have been a fair amount of low points too.Ā
For the most part, Iāve had nearly full rooms - and a handful have even sold out. Iām really chuffed about this, because I havenāt had any significant PR. A lot of it is down to word of mouth, or support from other acts shouting me out. But sometimes, even when things seem to be lining up correctly, an audience can still not vibe with it. For example, last night I had a sold out room - but it felt as if nothing was hitting properly for the entire hour.Ā Also, an entire row appeared to hate my guts, and it felt as if they were there as part of a detention scheme. It was interesting.Ā
The truth is, Edinburgh is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I feel excited and engaged one day, and then the next - deflated and boiling with envy. I am eating well, then eating badly. I am drinking every day and smoking every other. I am worrying about reviews one moment, and then deciding the next day that I donāt even care about the stupid Guardian. In fact, I hate it - except, a review would be useful. But, also - I hate them.Ā
But most shows go great. I feel as if I have created, and am performing a show Iām really quite proud of. Regardless of what any reviewer thinks (or doesnāt think) PEAK TRANS is, at the very least, the show I wanted to make. It might not be the most uplifting, widely accessible show in its genre, but I honestly couldnāt have made anything else this year.Ā
In a lot of ways, I feel very much past talking about the subject that I have chosen to broach in PEAK TRANS. As a topic, itās not the easiest thing to make funny. But, that was the challenge I set myself initially - and I do feel that over the past year I have pulled it off. But thereās only so long you stay within one headspace - so unless anyone wants to program the show after the Fringe, I will be moving away from the topic on stage.Ā
Of course, I still have another two weeks of doing it. Iām more than happy about that, as I enjoy doing the show. I just canāt continue to write on the topic of the gender critical movement anymore. Itās simply taking up too much room in my brain, and my life.Ā
If Edinburgh has made me realise anything so farĀ - itās that I am really looking forward to working on the next show. Iāve had a lot of ideas for it since getting here, and I canāt wait for the Fringe to end so I can get on with it.Ā
Iāll probably end up putting out some sort of video or audio version of PEAK TRANS for sale after the Fringe at some point, as Iāve been recording most performances.Ā
Anyway, Iāll do another update soon if I feel mentally up to it. But, no promises.Ā